Cowboy BEEP BOOP and Other Short Stories
by Willumyum
Summary: A compilation of random champions at random moments. "What?" They shouted in unison. "She won!" " :). " Was her only response. If you wanna see your favorite champions featured, let me know.


**A/N**

**I know there have been plenty of these "what would happen if X and such champions were found outside of the Summoner's Rift?" Regardless, here is my voice!  
The first chapter originated from one of the many videos Keyori posted on his youtube channel. It was something about a Cowboy BEEP BOOP. **

**"Wait,"I thought. "COWBOY BEEPBOOP? Graves? Blitzcrank? Twisted Fate?!" **

**So here it is.**

**If you want to see any of your favorite champions frolicking outside of the Rift, let me know. Send me a message, write a review, the works! Thanks.**

* * *

"Malcolm Graves," a charismatic voice declared, his words drawn out and bouncing like a bumpy ride.

"Twisted Fate," Graves growled like a lion as it toyed with its prey.

"Sona." Miss Fortune was sassy and fiery, yet breathy like cotton candy.

" :). " Sona was a mute, so she grinned.

"BEEP BOOP I am Blitzcrank!" the steam golem exclaimed, sounding like metal against a cheese grater. "Welcome to BEEP BOOP MAHJONG MONDAY."

The sentient robot subsequently wrapped its great, brass arms around his companions, and dragged them closer to the mahogany game table. The golem then plunged down next to a silent, brooding ninja.

"The rules of mahjong are simple," Shen spoke at once, his stolid glare piercing through the gamblers' souls. "Order is established in a counter-clockwise rotation. The dealer is designated as 'East'. The right of the dealer is 'South'…"

Miss Fortune rolled her eyes and gave off an unruly yawn before planting her legs on the table.

"Can this be any more boring?" she asked sorely. Sona twitched in irritation, and she played a dissonant chord on her etwahl to demonstrate it.

"Listen to Missy," Twisted Fate grunted at the bounty hunter. "Better not get on her bad side."

Graves picked up his spittoon and spat a wad of tobacco into it.

"Lookey here," he scowled, his cigarette dangling precariously in his mouth. "Blue Card cares about someone. Fer once."

Multi-colored cards suddenly materialized in Fate's hands. Graves was just as quick, drawing his gun and knocking the Card Master's arm away. A full scale skirmish would have erupted if not for the sudden influx of voices in the common room.

"Ahri, you should clean the lounge today," Riven tried her best to sound alluring.

"Oh?" Ahri winked as she flicked one of her tails against Riven's arm. "Are you sure?"

Riven flinched from the temptress. The fact that she liked the sensation of Ahri's fur against her skin was rather frightening. "How about you, Yasuo?"

The warrior grunted as he heaved a few gulps from his flask. "My sweeping blade will make quick work of this place."

"Great!" Riven sighed in relief. "I'll be by the pool table with Ahri."

Yasuo slurred something unintelligible in reply.

Ahri giggled as she skipped over a cue stick. "Come try your luck," she blew a kiss at her opponent. "If you think you're in my league." Her voice was like honey drizzling over a caramel bar.

The Exile groaned to herself as she shuffled over to her companion. "I hope Lux doesn't find out about this…"

Graves and Twisted Fate, meanwhile, placed away their weapons and retook their seats at the mahjong table. A mutual agreement passed silently between them; the loser of the match would feed the winner if they were ever to face each other on the Rift again.

"….Is that clear?" Shen finished to deaf ears.

"BEEP BOOP I don't think they paid attention," Blitzcrank stated the obvious. Shen shook his head, and reengaged in his penetrating stare. He was there to make sure none of the players cheated.

The loud clanging of mahjong pieces bashing against each other drowned out the drunken cries of Yasuo as he battled with dust. When the players were done shuffling, Yasuo grumbled under his breath. The dirt from the tiles had settled upon the parts of the floor he had already swept through.

Miss Fortune stared at the foreign symbols and cryptic letters on her tiles. "What in the world do these things mean?"

Shen did not answer. He wasn't willing to; they should've paid attention when he explained the rules, which were conveniently bundled into a hundred page dissertation off to his right side.

"Lady Luck is smilin'," Twisted Fate grinned as he glanced at his tiles.

"Puh-lease," Graves scoffed. "You wouldn't know what these things meant if it bit you in the face."

Miss Fortune joined in. "What the blockhead said. Fortune doesn't favor fools anyways!"

Twisted Fate flicked them off with a wave of his hand. "I ain't ne'er lost a fair game."

":(." Sona was appalled at their lack of understanding of the game. She thought that every self-respecting Valoran citizen would have learned mahjong by the age of ten. Then again, she had noticed a rather conspicuous lack of mahjong sets ever since she set foot within the Institute, much less Demacia. Perhaps it really was just a niche, Ionian thing, she mused.

"Uh," Graves growled. "The tile with three squiggly lines," he frowned as he tossed a tile to the middle of the table.

"Picture like word with a pointy cross at the top, coming through," Fate smiled. "I think I won."

"Nuh uh," Miss Fortune shook her head. "This blue rectangle tile beats everything."

" :I." Sona wished she could scream and have the whole world hear her torment. Instead, her fellow players shot some inquisitive looks at her as her mouth gaped open. Dejected, she tried her best to make it seem like nothing was troubling her. If only she could tell them the rules right now. 'The tiles you throw into the middle are the tiles you discard!' she wanted to yell.

"There we go," Twisted Fate grinned as he tossed his last tile away. "My hands are emptier than Grave's unloaded shotgun."

"Whatdya, HEY!" Graves bellowed as he glanced down his barrel. True enough, they were empty; the shells were in his rival's hands. "Give them back!" He stretched for them. Twisted Fate moved at the last moment, and Graves fell over the mahjong table.

"Ugh!" Miss Fortune groaned, placing the back of her hands against her head like a damsel in distress. "Imbeciles!"

"So, Shen?" Twisted Fate ignored the woman. "Who won?"

The Eye of Twilight blinked for the first time in ages. He raised a single finger at Sona.

"What?" Twisted Fate, Graves, and Miss Fortune sputtered at once. "Her?!"

Sona blushed, placing her hand humbly over her lips. She then snapped away her hand when she realized they weren't praising her.

" :(. "

"Sona," Shen repeated. "Her hand consists of a perfect set of four melds and the eyes."

With a flourish, Sona knocked her tiles against the table in harmony. Sure enough, four sets of three identical tiles and one set of two identical tiles were revealed. The cigarette in Graves' mouth descended into his half-filled spittoon. Two loud bangs erupted under Miss Fortune as she dropped Shock and Awe.

" :)." Sona beamed at the other gamblers.

"Up for another game?" Shen shouted over the rather lewd noises that came from the pool table. Sona shook her head, instead gliding over to the billiards. Miss Fortune had other things to do, and she stormed out of the common room at once. Shen raised his right eyebrow at Twisted Fate and Graves. The latter shrugged. Then he kicked the mahjong table into Twisted Fate's face.

"Kaboom!" the gunslinger yelled as he slung his shotgun into his grasp. "You're dead, Fate!"

He pulled the trigger once. Twice. A few times. Then he remembered that Twisted Fate had stolen the loaded shells. Roaring, Graves plunged his hand into his pockets in search of ammunition. The Card Master, meanwhile had already kicked away the table on him, and drew out a few cards of his own. A gold card was about to slice cleanly through Graves' head when Blitzcrank intervened. With a whirling click, the brass golem snatched the two away from their stances.

"BEEP BOOP No fighting! BEEP BOOP diplomatic immunity!" Blitzcrank scolded the two of them. Shen simply sighed before walking over to the pool table. The lewd noises were getting rather rowdy by now, accompanied by the sound of furniture being smashed to pieces.

Graves grunted, and then spat at the ground. He was dangling several feet in the air however, so it landed on his boots. Twisted Fate, on the other hand, grinned before pulling on his hat. A halo of red, blue, and yellow cards appeared above him, and he was gone in a second.

"BEEP BOOP Blitzcrank is sorry," the robot tried to apologize. He received a fist to his head in response.

"Shucks," Graves cursed under his breath. He tossed a smoke grenade to the ground; when the fog cleared, he was gone as well, leaving the steam golem alone with a drunken warrior attempting to mop the floor with his sword and a ninja pinned down by three rather menacingly looking women.

"Cowboy BEEP BOOP time to run!" He scooted out of the common room as well.

"Wait!" Shen called, his voice constrained as if drowning under a sea of flesh. "Help me Blitzcrank! Pull me out of- Ah!" His flailing arm disappeared under a flurry of tails.


End file.
